Got it, you're saying: "...it seems like Cubase and/or Max is systematically opening all MIDI ports" did the trick. But this is by default how all programs do this, I assume. I've kept VMidi 1 for Cubase, disabled the rest and now Max can see other ports. Phew, but I came from a multi-client background (used two AMT8's in the past) and assumed this would work. Ok, got some thinking to do how to route keyboard > Max > Cubase.
Thanks for the help, really appreciated!!